Index to Past Columns
Oh, my God, my child has . . .
Oh, my God, my child has . . .
Jennifer is an attractive, thirty something year old health professional; a licensed physical therapist. She is also so bright were you to meet her you could not help but notice how intelligent she is. Very intelligent, in fact. Yet when her second son, Aidan, at age one, failed to be as verbally precocious as her first son, she panicked and immediately assumed the worst. Her son must have the diagnosis du jour. Aidan must be autistic.
Will My Child Ever Be Normal . . .
Martin is a handsome thirty six year old man with a masters degree in history. He is also single, has had no full time job, and still lives at home with his mother. Not because he wants to, mind you, albeit she and he get along quite well. Rather, Martin has Asperger's, a rather serious case, and on a severity scale from one to ten I'd say Martin would rate a nine. On a good day.
Why Does My Child Keep Correcting Me?
One of the more difficult things about trying to help someone with Asperger's is they correct you a lot. Eight year olds. Forty three year olds. Twenty six year olds. It doesn't matter. Every person with Asperger's feels this same need; to be the guardian of correct words and ideas. Instantly and without exception. Ever wonder why they do this? This is what we're about to begin to look at. And yes, I said begin to look at. This topic is a doozy. A real Pandora's box.
What Is ADD?
In the last column, we spoke about why folks with Asperger's tend to correct people. In essence, they process words in an unnaturally fussy manner, similarly to how eighteen month olds learning language process words. The key to understanding people with Asperger's then is the phrase, "compulsive precision." These folks literally overreact to verbal vagueness. Which is why they feel compelled to correct those they witness being vague and tend to do this even when it insults people, which more times than not, it does.
This month we're going to look at the folks on the opposite end of the fussy / fuzzy continuum, the people who often feel like they never can get the words right. Perhaps this is why they tend to be the ones whom Aspie's correct the most. Whom am I talking about? Why the unnaturally fuzzy minded people of the world, of course. The folks we say have ADHD. So what is ADHD?
Why Do Stimilant Medications Help People With ADD?
Ask ten doctors why taking medical stimulants help people with ADHD and you'll get ten answers, most of which will bring to mind the proverbial blind men examining the elephant. It's not their fault. We demand of these good doctors almost god-like answers, including a pill which will if not cure all then at least make these kids appear normal. And yes, it's our children's lives we're talking about here so it's really this important. But when it comes to ADHD, the only thing most people are sure of is, no one has any god-like answers. Including me.
So what do I have to offer? A lot really, including that a major clue to the actual nature of ADHD lies in that medical stimulants help. Why? It's simple really. Stimulants alter people's sense of time in a somewhat predictable way. They speed things up. Moreover, while in theory we're talking about how medical stimulants affect folks with ADHD, in reality, we all take stimulants, so we all have access to this clue.
The Nature of the Self as a Factor in ADHD and Asperger's
Despite the obvious differences between kids with ADHD and Asperger's, if you sat with these kid's parents, much of what you'd see would look the same including the questions they ask. "Will my child ever be like the other kids in his class. Does she have to be on medication for the rest of her life? Will he ever learn to fit in with the rest of the world? Will she and I ever learn to talk to each other?" Underlying these questions of course lies a similarity even more disturbing; the look on their faces. These parents often look afraid. Moreover, I too have my reservations, in part, because I would so like to have all the answers and be able to tell them their child will be okay.
What really bothers me of course is that I know these parent's fears will probably play almost as great a role in their child's well being as their choosing the right course of action. This then brings up what may be my worst concern for these parents; that much of what they will likely hear from professionals will center on doing something I see as harmful to their kids; teaching these kids to imitate normal. What's wrong with teaching kids to imitate normal?
Steven Paglierani is a writer, teacher, personality theorist, and therapist whose work on human consciousness is read weekly by thousands all over the world. He is the author of the first fractal personality theory; Emergence Personality Theory, and his mission is to make the world better for children by restoring and deepening their love of learning.
|
