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Love and "BLocks" to Love

A First Look at "Emergence as a Therapy"

You may have noticed the seesaw at the top of the page, the one with a "head with feet" on the left side and a "heart on wheels" on the right side. You also may be wondering what this seesaw has to do with healing. Good question. I'll be talking about this seesaw, what I call, "the two that are one," throughout the site. For now, though, I'll just answer with a bit about how it applies to me.

Those who know me personally know me as one of those warm Mediterranean types; passionate, open, and always willing to get down and struggle right along with those I work with. Thus, if you are expecting a collection of dispassionate, theoretical discussions, please know that while I have included many theoretical articles here, my nature is such that I prefer face to face and heart to heart, regardless of how "heady" the discussions may become. In other words, while, at times, I am a "head with feet," I am mostly a balance between this and a "heart on wheels." I try to be anyway.

At the same time, I want you to know that what I will show you here is founded in a very deep and intricate amount of theory and logic. So, if you are put off by theory and by scientific discussions, please try to see the spiritual nature of these writings as well.

My point for saying these two things is that my writings reflect both my passionate nature and my love of logic. Unfortunately, some may see my passion as an indicator that what I have written about here is spiritually warm but conceptually unfounded. Others may see my logical side as an indicator that I have forgotten the spiritual side of things.

If either of these descriptions fit you, please look deeper as, while I do love the spiritual world and write with much passion at times, I also love science and logic. Thus, regardless of how personally, or impersonally, I may voice my ideas at times, I hope you will give them a chance.

This said, now what exactly is emergence? To be honest, I have so many things to tell you about this word, I hardly know where to begin. Let me start by saying that an emergence is an event, a very special kind of event. It is an event in which you consciously "see" what is on the other side of a "BLock" and in doing so, discover the true beauty in something or someone.

A more traditional way to see the word emergence would be to see it as "a moment in which you heal a wound." In truth, emergence means this as well. As I said before though, emergence is about "discovering the true beauty in things." How, then, are these "beautiful discoveries" connected to healing wounds? And why am I beginning the word "BLock" with two capital letters? 

To begin with, there are basically two ways to see peoples' "wounds," from a loving perspective, as a guide, and from a medical perspective, as a warrior.

From the medical perspective, our wounds are something "bad" about us, an ugly part of ourselves we need to alter and get rid of, preferably, as quickly and as painlessly as possible. This, by the way, is why, in the official lingo, medical professionals (including most therapists) call wounds, "pathology." This word even sounds ugly, doesn't it? Who would want to keep their "pathology?"

From the loving perspective, however, our "wounds," painful though they may be at times, are actually something we can experience as "a good part of ourselves," if we can see them as the parts of us which need gentle attention. Seen in this way, our wounds are not something "to get rid of" but rather, they are the very things which lead us to where we need love the most. 

Seeing wounds as the places "where we need love the most" is why I call wounds, "BLocks." Actually, the word "BLocks" is a contraction of the phrase, "Being Locks." 

Why call wounds, "Being Locks," or BLocks for short? Because, I believe all people are born with a totally "unblocked" ability to "be" loving; a holistic skill to "be" ourselves and to live life as "loving beings." However, as we age, we each experience life events at times so painful that our ability to experience love gets wounded in places. In other words, our access to the inner pathways which carry love in us becomes BLocked."

From the loving perspective, then, it is these painful events which "wound" our ability to love each other, because they BLock our ability to access what makes us "loving beings."

What exactly is the nature of these "wounds?" Understanding this nature begins with the fact that each of our inner pathways has protective fuses installed in them. These fuses blow when we experience too much of anything, even when we experience too much love (for instance, have you ever had a nice person overwhelm you with kindness?)

And when one of these fuses blows, we need to step back from what we were experiencing and allow time to pass so the fuse can reset.

Further, during this time, while we wait for this fuse to reset, we can literally see and even know that painful things are happening right in front of us and yet not be able to stop them or even leave the scene. Like when we fight with the people we love the most and afterwards, can not understand why we did it or even why we could not stop ourselves, especially "when we knew better."

How, then, do wounds occur? Wounds occur when we experience events so harsh that they not only blow our fuses, they damage our fuses. These "damaged" fuses never do reset, no matter how much time passes. As you might guess, this damage happens mostly in our early childhood's, although some of us have fuses damaged later in life as well.

My point is, these "damaged fuses" are what "BLock" our ability to experience love, in a similar way to how having damaged electrical fuses would block the flow of electricity into a home. Our BLocks literally keep us in the dark with respect to love, because they prevent us from seeing the love which surrounds us each and every day of our lives. And even when we spend years trying to find love by "seeing" past these wounds, unless we heal them, these pathways remain "BLocked," no matter how much we learn and no matter who we bring into our lives. This means the love we seek can be right in front of us and still, we will not see it.

Probably the worst thing about these "damaged fuses," however, has been that no one has consciously witnessed them before and so, for thousands of years, we have been blaming our struggles and our pain on each other and on ourselves. And when we blame, we hurt. And hurt each other. And when we hurt each other, we suffer. And feel unloved.

Now, to some, I may be sounding like a "Pollyanna," a person who deals with the pain in life by explaining it away with some candy coated philosophy or spiritual beliefs. To others, I may appear to be a well meaning but ill-informed peacemaker, someone who has difficulty holding people accountable for their mistakes. Still others may dismiss what I am saying as semantics; that I am only saying what you already know with different words.

In truth, I am doing none of these things. However, if what I have been saying has been "blowing your fuses"; meaning, if you can not feel the importance of what I have just said, please, do not be concerned. I would not want anyone to just take my word for such a radically different view. Besides, I have only just begun to tell you about emergence, and there is a lot more to tell you. Only when you have taken it all in can you actually come to an honest opinion as to whether emergence is real or not.

In any event, discussing this view, that our wounds are what BLock our ability to experience love, is what this whole web site is about. And about teaching people how to use this knowledge to get the love they have been trying so hard to find. In a way, then, this site is simply about encouraging people to adopt a new, more loving view of themselves and others.

At the same time, I can tell you with certainty that "only loving experience heals" and that rarely, if ever, does adopting a new idea heal anyone's insides. Thus, I expect and encourage you to examine my ideas thoroughly and to adopt them only if and when they become a conscious truth for you.

As for where these ideas have come from, most of them have come directly from my work with others and from the courageous individuals who have trusted me with their deepest secrets. At the very least, please treat what you find here with the respect these brave souls have earned and deserve. And regardless of how much you agree or disagree with these ideas, please just know this: what I offer here is simply my way of offering love. My hope is that these simple ideas may help you, too, to find all the love you have ever wanted.

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