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No Parroting Allowed!

Learning Emergence by Asking Questions



Emergence Group Babies

"Meeting My Needs After Giving Birth"

Questions for the Week of December 18, 2006



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When asked, "how do you best learn?" most people usually respond with either a technique, like, "in a classroom," or by naming their favorite sense, like, "I learn best visually." Unfortunately, this implies most people define "learning" as the ability to parrot the correct answer.

What is wrong with this? We believe that "parroting the correct answer" creates parrots, not students; dullards, not Einsteins. So how can we create more Einsteins? We believe, by asking questions which are intended to provoke the student's own questions. More important, we see this as the best way with which to reawaken in students the love of learning.

This week's topic is, "Meeting My Needs After Giving Birth." Would you like to awaken your love of learning about this topic? You can, simply by reading the teacher's questions and then, by asking yourself, "what questions did these words just provoke in me?"

"Meeting My Needs After Giving Birth"

Dear Ed!

I missed seeing you guys on Saturday. I was hoping you could make it. Maybe this Saturday perhaps?

As for my questions, there are so many things in my head right now. Worries mostly. For one thing, how will I cope with a new born, character type one. For another, my overwhelming feelings of inadequacy in how I'll connect to my three year old when I am so tired and distracted.

All these feelings BEFORE the baby is even born. I truly hope Aiden does not arrive early, because I really want my mom here when he comes. She has a very calming influence.

Teacher's Questions (asked by Jen)

  • How can attempting to connect to a person in a one state affect you? Can it be achieved?
  • If the person in that me state does not want to connect (or if this person is a newborn and therefore, is unable), what do I do with my needs? Should I, for instance, stay in Layer 7 and try to damage control the symptoms as they appear?
  • I understand my social priorities and ways to come out of shock. But what if it occurs in and around the same issue over and over? Do I need to coax that person into reconnecting, or should I seek help?
  • If that person denies the need for intervention, what else can I do to create the connection?
  • My husband, John, has described my fear of my imminent labor / birth experience as though I will be facing the school bully for a pounding that I am unable to avoid. I not only don't know when, but for how long this will happen. Great analogy, huh? Working with Steve has helped me to realize that I will survive the experience. But I am still afraid of the pain and my perception of time passing will not encompass the experience to allow me to be conscious. Is it possible to face impending pain and fear and not go into shock?

Sample Student Response Questions (asked by Ed)

So here I sit needing to feel better. My freedom to spend time with people I love being usurped by beings I can't even see. (I have bronchitis, again) Damn those little invisible creatures!

I hope everyone else is feeling well.

Be this as it may, here are my questions. At first I thought your questions were crazy. But then I saw I was being keyed by the times I have wanted to connect with people who were unable to connect with me... a very painful feeling. I realized while writing my response questions to you that I have previously dealt with this by surrendering my needs and then retreating to the outer layers, where I no longer exist and so, feel no pain. Possibly a good tactic but very alone and I suspect, very damaging to my relationships, as I can easily misjudge and blame others while doing the very same thing to them.

Oh, the hell of being a 3. Thanks anyway for you questions, Jen. My response questions are ...

  • If a person is compelled to try and connect to someone who does not know they exist, does that indicate a wound?
  • How does neediness in one person affect the ability to connect in the other person?
  • Is it self-centered to want to over-ride a person's need to not connect?
  • What would be gained by forcing such a connection?

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