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Healing Relationships with "Direct Emergence"

A Quick Summary



emergence therapy psychological wounds

Main Points on This Quick List



[1] In the midst of being keyed by someone, ask them to help you to heal.
[2] Begin by bringing yourself out of shock.
[3] Now, ask the person to repeat whatever they were just doing or saying to you, as best they can, going slowly and one sentence at a time.
[4] Try to consciously see the person's eyes, while paying attention to where you are going into shock. Ask the person to help you to see this by having them watch for where you go into shock as well.
[5] Now, repeat these steps until a scene emerges. That's all there is to it.

Words and Phrases to Pay Attention To


(they've been redefined to reflect Emergence Personality Theory)
being keyed, shock, consciously watching eyes, scenes emerging

9 emergence character type babies


Quick List With Examples



[1] In the midst of being keyed by someone, ask them to help you to heal.

  • The goal of this first step is twofold: to set your internal stage and to set aside blame.
  • You begin this step by picturing the person, place, or thing you believe is causing your suffering.
  • If you believe this is a specific person, try picturing this person's face, especially this person's eyes.
  • If the "place" or "thing" is an institution, like a school or a government agency, or a specific activity, like vacuuming or paying bills, picture the person who represents this school or agency or the person responsible for instituting this activity into your life.

[2] Begin by bringing yourself out of shock.

  • The goal of this second step is to gain conscious access to your physical body, by using your mind to sense your age.
  • You do this by asking your inner self how old you feel as you experience this pain.
  • In a way, all you are trying to accomplish here is to internally hear how old you were when you first experienced this particular suffering
  • You ask only for a number as this is the kind of question a young child would get asked (How old are you?)

[3] Now, ask the person to repeat whatever they were just doing or saying to you, as best they can, going slowly and one sentence at a time.

  • The goal of this third step is to gain conscious access to your spiritual body, by using your heart to sense your emotions.
  • For the most part, you simply use one word answers to name your emotions (i.e. "scared," "angry," "confused," "happy," "frustrated," "frozen," "numb," or "annoyed," etc.)
  • Answers which use several words to describe a scene for which you have no "feelings" words are also fine (i.e. I feel like I am about to die" or, "I feel like running away" or, "I feel like killing him.")
  • In effect, you are simply witnessing your emotional state consciously.
  • As with the previous step, you ask the question in this form as it is the type of a question a young child might be asked.

[4] Try to consciously see the person's eyes, while paying attention to where you are going into shock. Ask the person to help you to see this by having them watch for where you go into shock as well.

  • Here, the goal is to bring yourself out of shock by anchoring yourself to the guide's consciousness. Having previously practiced this kind of "conscious eye contact" with the person can help tremendously. Being able to be told you have gone into shock without feeling shame or guilt is another asset you can work on acquiring beforehand.

[5] Now, repeat these steps until a scene emerges. That's all there is to it.

  • Please know that doing this with a loved one can be very difficult. However, it also can be one of the most loving and bonding experiences two loving people can ever do.
  • A further help can be to have tried doing "Cycles of Three." In a very real sense, the "Do It To Me Again" technique is a more warm and supportive variation of doing self-emergence.
  • Perhaps an even better sequence would be to start by doing the "Do It To Me Again" technique and then try doing some "Cycles of Three."


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