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Introducing "P" Curves

Using "What You Can't See" to Discover Who You Are

Learning to Recognize Moments of Change

When you were born, you didn't come with a manual. Nothing personal. This is just the way the Great Creator designed our world. In lieu of a manual then, and because you struggle with knowing what to do at times, over your lifetime, you have probably tried to write a personal manual, by reading about, watching, and asking others about their lives and about their personal manuals. Despite these good efforts, though, nothing you have ever done has actually helped you to write a personal manual, even though at times you felt sure you were close.

What were those moments? Honestly, all they were, were simply moments wherein your life experience and someone else's briefly overlapped. This means they were also moments wherein your personal manual and theirs momentarily resembled each other; good times, to say the least. Sooner or later, though, these good times and those "moments of overlap" would end, leaving you once more without a personal manual.

Are two manuals ever the same? In truth, no. This means that even though people often do share similar life experiences, no two people and no two manuals are ever the same no matter how close the two peoples' shared experiences feel.

Unfortunately, many people try hard to convince you otherwise, saying that their lives and yours are at least similar enough that you can be using their personal manuals to guide your life. (Barnes and Noble and Amazon dot com are filled with such people's "manuals," many of which indeed are filled with much love and good intentions.)

Does using someone else's personal manual ever work? Occasionally. But never for long. Inevitably, then, and despite the good intentions of all those involved, none of these efforts ever really last. And when they fail, most people ask themselves things like, was it just that I somehow misread their manual or perhaps, didn't try hard enough to follow it?

Actually, neither is ever true. But again, many people will tell you otherwise. Because they do, at times, then, you probably blame yourself for your failures. Or them. Either way, though, when the pain of being without a personal manual again gets bad enough, you probably still look for yet another book or a new therapist or a more evolved spiritual guide.

Does any of this ever help? Yes, actually. Over the years, then, if you were one of those lucky enough to have found a truly gifted therapist or a genuinely loving spiritual teacher, the two of you probably did manage to uncover a few short lines from your personal manual. Exciting moments to say the least. Despite these moments, though, the greater body of your manual remains hidden to this day, and you probably continue at times to mistake other peoples' manuals for your own.

Discouraging, isn't it? Would you like to finally write your own personal manual? With "P" Curves, you can, and page by page, you can write your own personal manual. Even more wonderful, in this process, you can heal your deepest darkest injuries. More important, though, as these "injuries" heal, you will learn to see beauty in the very people, places, and things you were sure were ugly or "bad," including the places in you, you struggle to love. Interested?

What Is A "P" Curve?

What exactly is a "P" Curve? Before I describe the actual process itself, first let me tell you the two qualities which all human injuries have in common, the two things on which "P" curves are based.

The first quality is simply this: whenever people get wounded, they lose their ability to visualize something, whatever they were visualizing at the worst moment of that wounding event.

The second quality is: that reclaiming this lost ability to visualize heals peoples' injuries. Which injuries? All injuries. In fact, this idea is the actual script beneath those wonderful moments you sometimes hear about wherein people seem to "spontaneously" heal, the experiences therapists call "breakthroughs," and the experiences I call "emergences."

What is an emergence? An "emergence" is an event in which a person gains OR regains the ability to visualize in some particular area of life, an area which was previously inaccessible. This "inaccessibility," by the way, is why I prefer to call peoples' injuries, "BLocks" rather than "wounds."

Why "BLocks?" Because the word "BLocks" is a more accurate way to describe the actual nature of peoples' injuries, in that these injuries are simply areas of life in which a person's ability to internally visualize has become "BLocked." And yes, I know I have spelled the word "BLocks" with two capitals. Why? Because the word "BLocks" is actually a contraction for the phrase "being locks," an even more accurate way to describe peoples' injuries. "Being Locks" are simply places in people in which their ability to be themselves has become "BLocked."

What is involved in the actual "P" Curve process itself? First, two people, a "guide" and an "explorer." Second, a kind of focused questions called, "scene requests," which the guide asks the explorer in order to examine the explorer's life. Third, a paper worksheet on which the guide then records the explorer's answers.

What actually gets written on this paper? Just two categories of experience; the things the person is easily able to internally picture, and the things the person can not easily picture. On the left half of the page, then, the guide writes those things which the person can visualize. On the right half, the guide writes those things which the person cannot visualize.

Finally, along with both those things, the guide also writes those things which emerge during the exploration process, the things which the person spontaneously becomes able to visualize during the process.

How does the guide know when to identify one of these things as an emergence? Whenever a person reports something which has just emerged, they will always briefly preface this report with the experience of a little surprise. This surprise is also noted on the "P" Curve worksheet, using a yellow marker to head the written record of each emergence.

When completed, then, these worksheets document the person's actual healing process, in that they record what the person could see, what they could not see, and what they reclaimed the ability to see. In so doing, they record and reveal the very nature of the BLock. Often, they also lead people to the places in them where they need further assistance, the places where they will find yet a deeper, more fundamental BLock or BLocks.

Can a person do a "P" Curves alone? Honestly, no, and actually, no one would want to do this anyway, as no one should have to face their deepest darkest moments alone. In fact, this aloneness is a big part of what makes BLocks so painful. This is why doing "P" Curves requires two people, a "guide" and an "explorer."

What qualifies a person to be a "guide?" A guide is anyone who is willing and has the basic skills to gently help an explorer to stay within the limits of the "P" Curve process. And to be an "explorer?" An explorer is simply anyone whom is seeking yet another page for his or her manual.

Does a guide need much training? Not really. In fact, one of the best things about doing "P" Curves is that the guide need not ever have been formally trained other than to have been taught how to conduct the process. In fact, often, someone who is guiding for the first time will guide with more clarity and insight than someone with a more theoretical background.

Even so, open minded professionals can easily adapt and use this tool as, by design, the "P" Curve process both focuses and limits the focus of the healing process it guides.

A More Specific Sense of the Actual Skills Needed

What specific skills does a guide need? Only three: [1] a basic sense, gleaned from your own experiences, of working with inner vision, [2] a basic sense of the worksheet elements and how they relate to working with inner vision, and [3] a willingness to trust the process, by consciously confining the work to the elements on the worksheet and by picturing along with the explorer, whatever scenes arise.

How does one acquire these three skills? There is but one way; you must experience and explore the process yourself. In other words, the only way to genuinely acquire the skills to guide another is to have first allowed yourself to be guided through the actual process and then have had someone experienced in guiding help you to understand what you did, the elements of the process by which you, yourself, were led.

Must explorer's learn to guide? Not really, although being an explorer in the "P" Curve process will impart many of the guiding skills. Even so, many explorer's will forgo being guides as learning to guide peoples' "P" Curves is often a painful process, in that guides must literally experience much of what the explorers experience.

A part of being a guide, then, is the conscious and loving choice to be in the experiences of the explorers and often, these experiences can be quite painful. Here, by the way, is one of the more important differences between traditional therapists and guides; traditional therapists are often taught that these painful "co-experiences" are unhealthy and unprofessional. Sadly, nothing could be further from the truth. Fortunately, all of us, have in ourselves an intuitive urge to join with others along with an innate ability to guide others through this process, and almost no one is beyond learning to use this skill.

the P Curve "Red Lines"