What you see below is a circular diagram labeled "The 3 "Birth Moments." This diagram represents the series of three experiences we all go through in the moments in which we are born.
It also represents the three experiences from which the primary drive in human personality originates; resolving aloneness. By this I mean, this sequence of three moments is what creates our drive to resolve the losses we feel from our disconnects. No surprise so many people say they "hate being left" or have an "abandonment issue."
As for the diagram itself, if you look at the diagram, what you'll see is three concentric circles, each of which represents one of the three birth experiences.
Each layer also represents one of the layers in the "Layers of Aloneness" theory of personality.
The first layer, then, the inner layer in this diagram, is labeled "layer 9," the layer of "us."
This layer represents the profound connection we feel before being born, the "personal us" state we and our mothers shared right up to the moment before we got separated.
The second layer then, the middle layer, is labeled layer 8, the layer of "aloneness."
This layer represents the painful experience we went through in the first moment after we were separated, the moment in which we first lost the connection to our mothers; the shocking separation moment. and if you've ever personally witnessed a birth, you know that the baby goes into what I call the still point moment right after emerging from the birth canal.
This "still point" moment is our first experience of Layer 8, "aloneness."
Finally, the last layer, the outer-most layer of these three layers, is labeled layer 7, the layer of "need."
This layer represents our first and most primitive response to our terrible feelings of aloneness; our need to resolve the aloneness by getting someone else to meet a need.
"Us," "aloneness," and "need"; layers 9, 8, and 7.
These three layers, or more exactly, this sequence of three experiences, is the heart of this whole theory of personality. I also call it, "our first broken heart." Why? Because if you remember what it was like to get your first broken heart, you know that last thing you want right after is to open up to love again.
In essence, this is the basis for the primary drive in all of human nature; our need to "never get hurt like that again."
Do we know this?
Of course not.
None the less, it really is this simple. And this painful.
Now let me offer more detailed descriptions of Layers 8 and 7, "aloneness" and "need."