Teaching Julie to Look Through Her Own Eyes
Some years ago, I had a woman come to me named Julie who, to my surprise, could see herself only through her mother's eyes. Moreover while many women psychologically overvalue what their mothers think of them, I am talking close to literally. This woman constantly saw her world and herself as if she was looking out of her mother's eyes.
In discovering this, I had quite an aha. I realized that we all go through stages of interpersonal visual development. In each stage, we see the world through one or more of the possible interpersonal views, starting with the birth view; the "me" view, and in some cases continuing through the fourth stage of integration; being able to see life from all four possible views.
in essence, what this accounts for things like compassion and the lack there of; you cannot experience what you cannot imagine. In addition, it offers us a simple way to test for and expand our ability to connect to each other. In reality, we could all benefit from being more aware of these four possible views, even if only to know we have yet to gain access to one or more.