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The Wounds of the Father are the Blindness of the Sons
Exploring Beneath the Mask of Strength: "Asking for Needs"
An All Day Workshop for Men of Courage
Sunday, May 19th, 2002
in Nyack, NY

"A real man needs no one. He can take care of himself."

For years now, jokes have been made about "real men," implying it is possible, some men are not "real" men. On the one hand, people, men and women alike, often criticize men who ask for or even openly admit they have needs. On the other, people often put down men who can not ask for their needs.

So, which is true. Is a "real man" a man who needs no one, a man who quietly meets his all needs, even when he's sick? Is this strength? And what is man who is not strong or not a "real man?" A "complainer"; a man who openly admits to the world, he needs help?

What words would you use to describe a strong man? Independent? Self sufficient? Able to stand on his own two feet? And a "needy" man? Weak? Dependent? Unable to make it on his own?

Does the phrase, "a needy man," make you cringe? Would you hate it if someone called you, "needy." And on an even more personal level, do you ever get needy in front of anyone? If so, how bad does it have to get before you ask for support? And what about asking for the big things, like sex, or money, or to be comforted or held?

And what happens inside you when you see another man being needy? Do you always respect him if he asks for help or are there times when you see his asking as weakness? And what about if another man were to overhear you being needy in public? Does the thought of being seen being needy by another man, especially one you don't know, make you go into shock?

In the company of good men, on Sunday, May 19th, we will gather to explore this often hidden side of ourselves and to share openly and with love our wisdom and courage.

A Few Notes About This Journey's Challenges: Part of what we will be asking you to do will involve the gathering process itself. Thus, we will begin promptly at 9:30 AM and go straight through until 4:30 PM. During this seven hours, although we will be taking short breaks, we will be asking that you remain within our gathering place. This means we will be asking you to not break to eat nor for cigarettes nor for phone calls (except, of course, in cases wherein you have a health issue which could be seriously compromised by these requests). In fact, we will be asking that you "check" your beepers and cell phones at the door or better yet, leave them home. This is a sacred space, and we want the entire focus to be on your work and on you. Thus, for this seven hours, put yourself first. Your loved ones can wait.

Also, this work is stressful, and we want you to be as comfortable as possible. Dress casual, bring a sitting cushion or small folding chair, and please remember to bring something to drink (e.g. large bottle of water, juice, etc.).

To register: call Ed D'Urso (845 893-3160) or Steven Paglierani (845 627-7404). Seating is limited to about thirty men so please call early. The fee is $75; however, for any man under financial stress, this fee is negotiable.

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