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The Wounds of the Father are the Blindness of the Sons
Men and Aloneness III: Exploring Infidelity

An All Day Workshop for Men of Courage
Sunday, April 27th, 2003
in Nyack, NY

"A real man needs no one. He can take care of himself."

Many people believe it is not in a man's nature to be faithful; that "all men are dogs." And if you now find yourself laughing at what I have just said, consider this:

These hate filled jokes toward men are not funny. Why? Because if your father, or mother, or anyone close to you has cheated on someone, then your chances to connect to others are cut in half. My point: if this happened to you as a child, then in all likelihood, you have spent most of your adulthood in the pain of aloneness. More so, you are much more likely to do, or be with someone who will do, the very same thing, to yourselves, to your partner, and to your children, thus, carrying forward, yet one more generation, the burden of aloneness.

What is the truth about men and fidelity? Start with these two, simple truths. One; men are "people" first, men second. Two; all people, men and women alike, feel pained by aloneness and will be much more likely to feel this aloneness, even in a relationship, if they have experienced infidelity.

Can men learn to see, and admit, this truth: that they prefer being faithful to feeling aloneness? In fact, can we men even learn to stop allowing ourselves to be the object of these jokes? Yes. But only if we can find the courage to help each other to see past what for us, is yet one more hate filled lie about men; that we prefer to be unfaithful than to work on our relationships.

In the company of good men, then, on Sunday, April 27th, we will gather together to share openly and with love our wisdom and courage about this often misunderstood side of ourselves: "men and infidelity."

A Few Notes About This Journey's Challenges: Part of what we will be asking you to do will involve the gathering process itself. Thus, we will begin promptly at 9:30 AM and go straight through until 4:30 PM. During this seven hours, although we will be taking short breaks, we will be asking that you remain within our gathering place. This means we will be asking you to not break to eat nor for cigarettes nor for phone calls (except, of course, in cases wherein you have a health issue which could be seriously compromised by these requests). In fact, we will be asking that you "check" your beepers and cell phones at the door or better yet, leave them home. This is a sacred space, and we want the entire focus to be on your work and on you. Thus, for this seven hours, put yourself first. Your loved ones can wait.

Also, this work is stressful, and we want you to be as comfortable as possible. Dress casual, bring a sitting cushion or small folding chair, and please remember to bring something to drink (e.g. large bottle of water, juice, etc.).

To register: call Ed D'Urso (845 893-3160) or Steven Paglierani (845 627-7404). Seating is limited to about twenty five men so please call early. The fee is $75 in advance, $85 at the door; however, for any man under financial stress, this fee is negotiable.

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