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The Wounds of the Father are the Blindness of the Sons
the Aloneness Men Rarely Talk About: the Things We Don't Tell Women

An All Day Workshop for Men of Courage
Sunday, October 26th, 2003
in Nyack, NY

"A real man needs no one. He can take care of himself."

Ask a man if the women in his life really know him and most will answer, "yes." Yet ask these same men if they ever withhold things from women, and most will either freeze in a guilty cover-up smile or rapidly sputter out scrambled excuses as to why men should not, or cannot, talk to women about certain things. What things? For one, about how much money they make. Or spend. Or need. Or dream of having. Or feel pressured to have. Or worry they don't have. And yes, the numbers matter.

How about you? Do the women in your life truly know you when it comes to how you earn, spend, dream about and struggle with money? Or do you omit, edit, down play, or avoid talking to them about how money affects your life?

How about what happens to you when you feel drawn to other women? For instance, do the women in your life really know what goes on inside you when a provocatively dressed young girl crosses your path in the mall or waits on you in a restaurant; that you sneak glances or work hard not to look or worse, secretly fantasize? And what about what, for many men, is an even more dangerous topic; having women friends? Do you avoid friendships with women in order to keep the peace at home? Or do you secretly engage in these friendships or vaguely admit to them but downplay their importance?

And what about how you feel about how you compare to other men; your health, how you dress, being in shape, how you eat, that you're getting older? How about your feelings about women looking at other men? Do you struggle, rationalize, or stuff what you feel or perhaps, argue it's wrong for them to look but deny your motive is your insecurities?

Finally, why admit we struggle to reveal these sides of ourselves in the first place? Because the things we men can't talk about are often the source of our worst aloneness. And because real men do need others, especially others who really know them.

In the company of good men, then, on Sunday, October 26th, we will gather together to share openly and with love our wisdom and courage about this often misunderstood side of ourselves: "the Aloneness Men Rarely Talk About: the Things We Don't Tell Women."

A Few Notes About This Journey's Challenges: Part of what we will be asking you to do will involve the gathering process itself. Thus, we will begin promptly at 9:30 AM and go straight through until 4:30 PM. During this seven hours, although we will be taking short breaks, we will be asking that you remain within our gathering place. This means we will be asking you to not break to eat nor for cigarettes nor for phone calls (except, of course, in cases wherein you have a health issue which could be seriously compromised by these requests). In fact, we will be asking that you "check" your beepers and cell phones at the door or better yet, leave them home. This is a sacred space, and we want the entire focus to be on your work and on you. Thus, for this seven hours, put yourself first. Your loved ones can wait.

Also, this work is stressful, and we want you to be as comfortable as possible. Dress casual, bring a sitting cushion or small folding chair, and please remember to bring something to drink (e.g. large bottle of water, juice, etc.).

To register: call Ed D'Urso (845 893-3160) or Steven Paglierani (845 627-7404). Seating is limited to about twenty five men so please call early. The fee is $75 paid in advance, $85 paid at the door; however, for any man under financial stress, this fee is negotiable.

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