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Cycles of Three

A Technique for Self Emergence


A Way to Self Heal Using Emergence - the Emergence Cycles of Three

Discovering a New Way to Heal

I experienced my first Cycle of Three accidentally in September, 1996. It was from this event that I discovered the consciously directed healing events I now call, Emergence.

At the time, I had already discovered and had been writing about the Six Concepts, the six ideas which reveal the nature of the connections between the physical and the spiritual worlds. The essence of these Six Concepts is that everything in our existence is a "two that are one."

What do I mean by a "two that are one?" Basically, just that everything in our existence has a physical world body and a spiritual world body. Moreover, that whenever these two bodies combine, something new gets created, something which is far beyond the mere sum of these two bodies. What gets created is a nature.

This idea then led me to the realization that we can not heal simply by eliminating symptoms nor through discovering the painful events in which our wounds originate. Why? Because it is our nature, that which is beyond the sum of our parts, which actually gets wounded. Therefore, getting rid of symptoms merely hides wounds further. And discovering painful events is just gathering information. Healing requires people to consciously relive these painful events, at least the moments in which the actual BLocks occurred.

In order to heal, then, people must consciously access their nature AND while accessing it, re-experience the most painful moments of the event which originally wounded them. Basically, this means any technique which allows you to access both bodies simultaneously can be used to heal. The Cycle of Three is but one such technique.

Now, before describing the actual technique, it might be helpful to hear how I came to discover the Cycle of Three. How, exactly, did I accidentally happen onto it?

To begin with, at the time, I was exploring what I call, the "Seesaw Metaphor." Essentially, what I had been doing was I had been picturing a seesaw, with my head (my mental self) riding on one end, and my heart (my emotional self) riding on the other. As I pictured this, I would then try to get both selves, both my mental self and my emotional self, to balance the seesaw in mid air.

I called this position, the "healing position," because I believed that when the head and the heart were in this position, that the person's nature was accessible to healing efforts. In actuality, this turned out to be true and so, without knowing it, I had been practicing the second and third parts of the Cycle of Three for about a year prior to the day I discovered it.

On that day, however, I was neither practicing nor exploring. I was actually trying to use the Seesaw Metaphor to keep myself from killing someone. Little did I know that I would end up doing a lot more than just damage control; that my experience would permanently change my entire view of the world.

What did I do differently that day? Basically, I was so mad at the person who was setting me off that I could not find it in me to do the Seesaw technique. Before I could do it, then, I had to first address the fact that I was openly blaming my suffering on someone else.

To be honest, at first, I entertained this blame. Very quickly, though, I felt the desire to stop this blaming. I also began to feel as if someone else was guiding me and with no effort at all, I found myself looking right at the person and in my head, saying, "I know it is not you."

I then followed with the two steps of the Seesaw Metaphor, first, by asking myself my age, then by asking myself what I felt. I then repeated this sequence several times, until at last, my eyes filled with tears, as a scene, previously unknown to me emerged, from my childhood.

Inadvertently, then, I had stumbled onto what was and still is the most important part of the Cycle of Three, and of healing in general. I had discovered the idea that before you can heal, you must first allow for the possibility that the person or situation you believe is responsible for your pain is not really the cause of your pain, not all of it anyway; further, that most of what is happening is that they are simply bringing to the surface pain which had already existed in you.

Here, then, in essence, is what I did that day; the Cycle of Three; briefly stated:

[1] picture who or what you see as the cause of your suffering AND while holding this picture, internally hear yourself say only, "I know it's not you";

[2] internally sense your age by asking yourself, "how old do I feel right now?" Now, internally hear only a number, nothing more;

and finally, [3] check inside yourself for your spiritual state by asking yourself, "what emotions am I feeling right now?" Now, internally hear only the words needed to name your emotions, nothing more.

Now, repeat these three steps until a scene emerges. That's all there is to it.

Let me now describe these three steps in more detail.

Step One: "I Know It's Not You"

The goal of this first step is twofold: to set your internal stage and to set aside blame.

You begin this step by picturing the person, place, or thing you believe is causing your suffering. If you believe this is a specific person, try picturing this person's face, especially this person's eyes. If the "place" or "thing" is an institution, like a school or a government agency, or a specific activity, like vacuuming or paying bills, picture the person who represents this school or agency or the person responsible for instituting this activity into your life.

In most cases, seeing the person's eyes will be the most powerful element in your healing process. Unfortunately, picturing the eyes of someone you believe is causing you so much pain can often be very difficult.

What can help is to gradually work towards picturing the person's eyes. You can start by picturing this person in the setting in which you were hurt. Take a moment to look around at the details of this scene; slowly. Now picture the person's clothing, from bottom to top, while temporarily avoiding the person's face.

Please, do not worry if what you picture never actually happened, nor should you worry about the accuracy of what you are seeing. And if some details are hard to picture, just allow your inner self to create these things; in essence, to guide you by "filling in the blanks."

Please know, "remembering" is not necessary for healing. Healing requires only that you gain conscious access to your two bodies AND that you use this access to consciously witness the instant(s) in which you were wounded. This access can come not only from literal memories but also from the scenes and details which your inner self creates. In fact, imaginary scenes can often work as well as the actual wounding scenes themselves. At times, they work even better. And some wounding scenes never do emerge, so you must use imaginary scenes.

Regardless of what scene(s) you use, please do your best to trust what you see. At the very least, let what you see exist without questioning its authenticity. Know that regardless of what you end up picturing, what you see will always be exactly what you need to see in order to create the inner stage on which you can heal this BLock. Even if this stage is darkness or blinding light. Or a cartoon stage. Or a past life panorama.

Now try to see the person's face, working from the outer features inward. By this, I mean, try to picture the person's hair. Then move to the person's ears. Then to the person's neck, and then to the person's chin.

Again, if you can not bring to mind one or more of these details, please, do not worry. Just allow your inner self to attempt to fill in the blanks, and if nothing comes, just move ahead to the next step.

Sometimes, too, the details will be vague or unclear. Here, again, don't be concerned. Just move ahead to the next facial feature with no self criticism about your struggle, knowing that the Cycle of Three will work even if these details never surface.

Now try to see the person's mouth. What expression do you see? Does this mouth suggest a mood? If not, don't worry or dwell there. Just move, with gentleness and confidence, to the next step.

Can you see the person's forehead? Is it wrinkled or smooth? Furrowed or calm? Whatever you see, simply observe it and move on.

Can you see the person's cheek bones? If not, do not worry. Just move to the next detail.

Can you see the person's nose? Now try to see the person's eye brows. Finally, try to see the person's eyes.

Now, if, after all of this, you still can not see a face, please, do concern yourself. See if you can imagine that you are seeing this person's head from behind, and then move on to the next part of the Cycle. Worst case, try to see or sense the person standing in the shadows. Before moving on though, in order to do this step, you must momentarily face whatever you have pictured and then hear your inner voice say, "I know it's not you (that is causing my pain.)"

Now move without worry to the next step.

Step Two: "How Old Do I Feel Right Now?"

The goal of this second step is to gain conscious access to your physical body by using your mind to sense your age. You do this by asking your inner self how old you feel as you experience this pain.

In a way, all you are trying to accomplish here is to internally hear how old you were when you first experienced this particular suffering, and you ask only for a number as this is the kind of question a young child would get asked (How old are you?").

Now, for those who normally go through life as "heads with feet," this step can be a bit difficult. Know that with even the smallest effort, you will be able do it well.

Mostly, what can be difficult for some is to not use logic to figure out an answer. Rather, allow your inner voice to speak the answer to you and then, just listen to your own inner voice. Also, please trust that the Universe will supply you with exactly the number you need to hear in order to heal, and that if you find it hard to trust what you hear, all you need do is simply allow for the possibility that this answer will work for you even if you have no trust.

Now, simply hear your inner voice ask yourself for a number, the number of the age you currently feel. And if you find yourself trying to figure this number out, simply relax and let any number at all emerge without judging its accuracy.

Please know that the success of the Cycle of Three does not depend on accuracy, nor does it depend on faith or trust. It depends only on the principle that we are a "two that are one," and that we need do only that which allows us simultaneous access to both bodies in order to heal.

Even here, you need not believe this idea nor must you trust it. All you need do is just allow for the possibility that it might be true. Even if you can not see how. At the same time, remember that the Universe will help you with what you can not do on your own.

A number; this is all you need hear. "Three" "Fourteen" "Eleven" "One" As long as you hear your inner voice speak this number, any number at all is the right number.

As soon as you hear this number, gently and deliberately move to the next step.

Step Three: "What Emotions Am I Feeling Right Now?"

The goal of this third step is to gain conscious access to your spiritual body. For the most part, you can do this by using one word answers to name your emotions. In effect, you are simply witnessing your emotional state consciously. Again, you are doing this by simply asking yourself a question a young child might be asked.

Here, too, if you normally spend your life as a "head with feet," this step can be a bit difficult. If this is you, some prior preparation can be helpful, especially if you are a person who, when asked what you are feeling, ordinarily goes into your head to figure it out. (Thus, although you do need to honor your head in order to heal, in this step, it is your heart not your head that you want to honor.)

As for getting past your logical mind, one very good way would be to prepare for this step by keeping a feelings journal for a month or so. All this entails is getting a little 59 cent flip pad and at five times each day, write down a few words to describe what you feel. Usually, once within the first and last half hours of your day and at three times in between works fine.

A good way to do this, then, would be to start each day by writing the date at the top of each page. Then, over the course of that day, make the five entries which will later amount to an inventory of your spiritual condition that day.

In general, one word answers are best. Thus, your writing should mainly sound like answers a child might give, with the words being the feelings words most people say often. For example, you could write, "scared," "angry," "confused," "happy," "frustrated," "frozen," "numb," or "annoyed," or any other feelings word.

Also, and this is very important, please do not write down why you felt these feelings. Only write down the feelings words themselves.

For most people, doing this even for just one month will be more than enough for you to build up a pretty useful "feelings word" vocabulary, and this vocabulary is what you will be using to do this third step: to name your emotions.

Please know, also, that most people, including many therapists, routinely interchange the words "think" and "feel" and so, many people preface their opinions, which are thoughts, with the words, "I feel that... ." These sentences are not about feelings. The word "that" means these sentences are about thoughts.

Why be concerned? Because this step is not about thought, per se. It is about naming your emotions in order to access your spiritual body.

Again, please do not grade yourself on how well you do. Even those with a four word emotional vocabulary (e.g. mad, sad, glad, scared) can successfully do a Cycle of Three.

And one more thing. You may also hear your inner voice speak things other than one word answers, things like "I feel like I am about to die" or, "I feel like running away" or, "I feel like killing him." Answers like these are fine and in fact, people often, at first, have no words for the things they feel during these wounding events.

Often, then, people struggle to find words because these experiences are beyond words. At times, then, the only way to give your feelings a voice will be to paint a picture with the word, "like." In fact, the best thing to do in these cases is to describe the scene in the simplest terms possible, with the goal being to hear a sentence which at least describes your emotional state in this scene. (Notice you can picture sentences like , "I feel like I am about to die," "I feel like running away," and "I feel like killing him.")

Know that these statements do not even need to be complete sentences. All you need hear is a few words to describe what you are experiencing emotionally during these scenes. And when you do, gently begin again with the first step.

Reaching the Goal: an Emergence

At times, people see scenes emerge after going through these steps only once. Most times, though, it takes several repetitions before anything at all emerges. And at times, people will find it too hard to stop blaming and will be unable to even go through the process. If this happens to you, don't be too hard on yourself. Just try again later.

Sometimes, too, people will unable to picture internally, as they may find the scene too overwhelming. Again, if this happens to you, do not worry. Just let go and try another time. Before quitting, though, give it your best shot, as the best time to do a Cycle of Three is when you are right in the midst of feeling the painful thoughts and feelings involved.

How will you know if what emerges is real? You will not. It does not matter.

Here again, the actually reality of what emerges will not affect your ability to heal. Often, too, what emerges is simply a composite of many related experiences, some of which you may never have personally experienced. Again, you need not concern yourself with the actual reality of what emerges as all that matters is that you consciously experience, with both bodies simultaneously, the painful situation you have been struggling against.

Finally, know that the real proof whether you have healed or not is if you can later experience these situations with more kindness and gentle compassion than previously available to you, and do this effortlessly. In fact, after people heal, they often actually look forward to being presented with these situations, intuitively sensing they will know how to handle them with love.

A Brief Reminder on The Nature of Healing

One last thing. Although I can not prove this, I have intuitively felt for a long time now that BLocks heal in increments of one half. By this, I mean, each time you do an emergence session, whether though a Cycle of Three or whether by other means, about half of whatever Blocked experience you work on gets healed. This means that about half of the BLocked experience will emerge in the first session, and about half will remain. And this hold true for every session. This means there will always be a half of something left, no matter how many times you emerge from a BLock. A half of a half of a half of a half still leaves half of something left.

However, even with only half the BLock healed, you can still expect to experience an increased ability to consciously experience this type of life event even after only one emergence session. Further, this increased ability includes an increased ability to experience self love during these events, as well as an increased ability to experience compassion for others who have been wounded in a similar fashion.

By the way, for anyone interested in reading more about my first Cycle of Three, you can read about it in my story, "No Decaf." As for the "Seesaw Metaphor," if you check out the opening page of the Emergence web site, you will find it is the first thing on the page, a reminder of how I came to discover Emergence.

Finally, please honor your own efforts regardless of the outcome. Only brave people explore their own suffering. Give yourself credit for this effort. And love.

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(click here to read how I discovered The Cycles of Three)