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The Way Emergences Happen

Stage 1: Reliving a Wound

This visual article briefly describes the five stages of healing, from denial, to recovery, to becoming a healer. Once known, these stages can be used to guide the healing process.

the Emergence Group Babies

Stage [1]: the “Failure-to-Connect" Experience

(In this experience, you relive a wound, but don't know it)

This is a little story about the way emergences happen. It has taken us many years to find these words. More over, finding these words has been hard and so, to us, this little story is a big deal. A very big deal.

Perhaps what is also important to mention is something which is probably already obvious to you. That putting the moments in which peoples' lives change into words is always hard. For everyone. Even for us.

We didn't know this when we started though. More over, we have been very stubborn. How stubborn? We have actually been trying to find these words for almost ten years now. Why? Because we wanted to find a way for people to share what happens in these inspiring moments.

Even before we had these words though, we knew what happens to people in these wonderful moments. What happens is, people change inside, forever and ever.

“Emergences” is what we call these wonderful, forever-and-ever moments. "Emergences" are what make peoples' lives change for the better.

emergence no box exists 1

Here you see our first little drawing. What does it show?

It shows what we now know to be the first step in every life changing event, the beginning time in every single wonderful discovery. Actually though, this step is not really a step. It is just an experience. It is the experience of having no idea we are missing a step. Everything seems fine.

How could we not know? Well, this is what our little story is about. But for now, just know that in the beginning, we feel so fine that, even when we are asked, we still say there is nothing missing. I'm OK, we say. I'm doing well.

And we are OK. Mostly, that is. Except, of course, when we get near whatever is hidden in the box.

What is hidden in the box?

Perhaps the mysterious source of the fights we keep having with our spouse. Or perhaps the disagreements we sometimes have with our kids, or our parents, or with the boss. You know, the fights we hate to have but keep having and never know why? The ones we promise ourselves never to fight again and then somehow, we do anyway, over and over and over?

Sometimes too, when it gets really bad, we tell ourselves we will never ever talk to that person again. Ever. But since not talking to the person can get very lonely, (and because inside, we really do want to talk to this person), eventually, we always do talk again. Even though we promised not to. Unfortunately, because we have not yet realized there is a box, let alone that something important is in it, sooner or later, we end up having that same fight again. The same way we always have. The same fight, just on a different day.

It’s not our fault, though. Really, it's not. It’s just that no one has ever taught us that we should be looking for boxes.


Realizing You Have a Wound

the Emergence Group Babies