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Emergence Personality Theory

a New Theory of Human Personality

The 3rd Birth Separation Moment

The Emergence of Layer 7

(we desperately "need" to know that someone else is there)

the 3rd birth separation mement  (per emergence personality theory)

the 7th Layer of Personality: "need" (character types)

As I've already discussed, three of the ten layers get sequentially connected during the actual moments of birth; Layers 9, 8, and 7.

In this order, these three layers create the basic drive in human personality; the drive to resolve the experience of aloneness.

What is equally important to note here is the four patterns of neediness which form in Layer 7, what I call, "character types."

Now, as this 7th Layer of Personality is one which has been previously unknown, it might help to offer a bit of background as to how I came to discover this Layer, starting with when.

When did I discover character types? After discovering BLocks and Emergence, which I discovered in 1996. Please know, at the time, I was far from understanding how these discoveries connected let alone to how our personalities form in layers.

Unfortunately, then, it took me another six years to discover what exists in this layer, the parts of personality I now call "character types."

What led me to this discovery?

During the six years right after discovering Emergence and BLocks, I continued to make discoveries in and around them and accumulated much empirical evidence to support their existence.

Then, in the Summer of 2001, as the direct result of an attempt to help one of my clients, I began to devise a theory of human development based on people's ability to picture each other, through their own eyes and through the eyes of others.

In essence, what this theory posits is simply that we, by nature, develop four possible ways in which we can picture our world and our relationships with others. These four ways are, [1 we can picture our world by looking through our own eyes inwardly at ourselves, [2] we can picture our world by imagining we are looking out of the eyes of someone else who is looking back at us, [3] we can picture our world by imagining we are the other person and are looking out at the world, and [4] we can picture our world by imagining we are the other person looking over at us looking back at them.

What is remarkable about this theory is that these four views cover every possible way in which we can see ourselves and others. Further, all people seem to go through the same general stages of development in acquiring these four "views."

In addition, some peoples' access to some of these views gets blocked. When this happens, people fail to develop one or more of these views.

Often too, people get stuck in only one of these views (as was the case with the person from which I first realized these ideas.) Here, people's abilities to see themselves as separate from others gets seriously impaired.

I named this theory after the woman from whom I first observed this phenomena, that we develop only four views from which to see ourselves and others. Thus, I call this theory, "Julie's Eyes."

from "Julie's Eyes" to "Character Types"

How does the Julie's Eyes theory connect to "character types?"

Very simply, it reduces our personal views of each other to their simplest form, the two things we experience whenever we feel needs.

What are these two things?

The two basic character states, "me" and "you."

What are these states?

The "me" state is what we experience in the third moment of birth, our natural response to just having gone from being "personally connected" to "total aloneness."

This natural response?

"Help ME!"

This, in fact, is the state we live in for most of the first year of our lives. And if we have a particularly stressful first year of life, we never develop a view past this one.

Think about what this means. It means if our first year of life is particularly stressful, we live as if we never do get our needs met. And we live as if everyone around us is supposed to fill these needs.

Said in other words, we live like "babies." Sound like anyone you're ever known?

More so, taken to it's extreme, this character state is the basis of mental illness and of the difficulty we have with helping seriously mentally ill people to heal.

What about the second "character state," the "you" state?

The "you" state is what we develop in our second year of life, given we emerge from the first year with most of our needs met.

What does this state look like?

Well, we mostly experience the needs of everyone around us, specifically the care givers who we live with.

So whose needs are important when we are in this character state?

Everyone else's. "Your needs."

And what is we experience a significant degree of unmet needs in our second year of life?

Well, given we have made it out of the first year successfully, we become the "compulsive givers" of the world. And taken to it's extreme, we become the mentally ill people called "neurotics."

What if we do make it past this second year though?

Well, if we have acquired a year of experience with each of the two character states; the "me" state" and the "you" state; then we mix and match. In other words, people who are still developing their Layer 7 content in their third year of life be come what I call "me then you's."

And those who are still developing their Layer 7 content in their fourth year of life?

These people are the same as "me then you" people, only in the reverse order. These people are "you then me's."

Now let me recap.

Layer three is where we experience the essence of our needs, and where we naturally focus on to get these needs met.

In this layer, there are two possible character states, the "me" state (I need my needs to be met) and the "you" state (I need your needs to be met."

There are also four possible combinations of these two states.

We can be "one's (first year of life people; "me's"), "two's" (second year of life people; "you's"), "threes" (third year of life people; "me then you's") and "fours" (fourth year of life people; "you then me's").

Here then are the basics of what Layer three contains. It contains our default, inner responses to being in a needy state. Further, this inner response applies to every situation in our lives wherein we feel needs. Thus it applies to simple situations, such as deciding who goes through a door first when two people both arrive at the door at the same moment, and it applies to complex situations, such as which religion we want to raise our kids with, or whom we vote for in an election.

Simply put, Layer 7 is the Layer of personal "needs," and what we experience here is the part of us which comes into play in order to meet these needs.

Equally important, this Layer is the source of all blame. How?

All human blame is the result of unmet needs.

So can't we have unmet needs and experience love for each other?

The surprising answer? No, we can't. You see, even when we have unmet needs, when we are not alone, we do not care.

In effect, when human beings are connected, we relive the pregnancy state, wherein no matter what the need, we never experienced it alone.

In fact, at this point in our personality development, we had yet to experience aloneness. Thus, we had yet to experience a need.

Now, I realize, defining "need" this way is different from how we usually define it. None the less, if you can picture a time wherein you felt needy and then connected to someone, you will see how the "need" became unimportant. In fact, while you were connected, it did not matter, so much so that the "need" ceased to "personally" exist.

At this point, I need to allow whatever is yet to be understood to bake for awhile. And to allow that some may not agree with what I've offered. Why?

I'm a "two." This means my default need state is the "you" state.

How does this apply here?

My need is usually to give to others whatever help I discover. In fact, I'm living this need in this very moment.

And if I don't let it go, I'll continue to feel the aloneness all teachers feel when they are caught in the "still point" in between the teacher offering something and the student not seeing what is being offered.

This doesn't make the teacher right. Just alone. And needy, if you can see your personal state this clearly.

What comes next?

Layer 6, the Layer in which all personality injury originates. And before showing this layer to you, just try to remember one thing: All injury keeps us from getting our needs met, no matter how much we are given. How?

To see, please read the next section.

the 7th Layer of Personality: "need" (character types)

Appears at Age?< /th>
(this is the 3rd of the three birth moments)
Personal Consciousness Age?
(age 0 - 2)
Sense of Connection?
only to my needs
(my needs to "get" from someone and or to "give" to someone)
"I urgently need to have my unmet "needs" met now!"
Sense of Aloneness?
"I desperately need someone to meet my need."
Sense of Blame?
"character" blame
all blame begins here.
people's character type determines who they blame.
Who Do You Blame?
Anyone who does not respond to your needs
Who Should Be Punished?
Birth - 1: "you."
If character type continues to unfold, then age 1 - 2: "me."
If character type still continues to unfold, then age 2 - 3: "you then me."
If character type still continues to unfold, then age 3 - on: "me then you."
Who Deserves Help?
Birth - 1: "me."
If character type continues to unfold, then age 1 - 2: "you."
If character type still continues to unfold, then age 2 - 3: "me then you."
If character type still continues to unfold, then age 3 - on: "you then me."
Type of Emergence?
"even when I'm needy, I'm loveable "
Type of Blamelessness?
We are all blameless for:
having needs
"needs" are no one's fault
Urges - Inner Life? (experiential urges)
character types begin to form
a "One" (a "Me");
a "Two" ("You");
a "Three" (a "Me then You)";
a "Four" ( a "You then Me")
Urges - Outer Life? (behavioral urges)
acts of blame begin to appear
"Aloneness" as a "Drive"
"aloneness" diversifies into "thoughts" and "emotions"
What We Think and Feel? (realms)
"Realm of Needs"
thoughts and emotions direct us to resolve the pain of aloneness by receiving or giving
What Do We Look Like? (roles)
homeless person
young child
anyone grieving