Making Changes MenuMind & Consciousness MenuTalk Therapy MenuEducation & Learning MenuHealthy Relationships MenuAutism Spectrum MenuAddictions, Risk, and Recovery MenuWeight & Fitness MenuHuman Personality MenuScientific Method Menu

Healing, Enlightenment, and "Permanent Change"

Healing by Choice, Not by Accident

character type babies 12343421

On October 4th, Ron wrote and asked ...

Hey Steven,

Thanks for writing me to let me know what's going on.  I am glad to hear you say that you think I have an open mind. I actually was thinking that I do not have a very open mind and that I am kind of stubborn, but hey, maybe you're right! I like hearing that someone thinks I have an open mind anyway!

I do not know if you have any time at all besides what you are doing, but I wanted to you ask you a couple more questions I thought of recently. 

I have been exploring all my past issues and trying to get rid of them with EFT and with what I can gather from your website, and it just keeps getting deeper and deeper.  Then I read in the book "The Power of Now" that exploring the past is a bottomless pit.  Is this true from your view point?  Does doing Emergence eventually lead to what some people call "enlightment"?

I know that cognitive therapy gave me that feeling one time, but I am not sure if that is just ignoring the truth as a detachment or what is going on. Anyway, just thought I would ask you and see what you think.

The parts of cognitive therapy I did do seemed to push me into an "enlightenment" period for a couple of months. But then I stopped doing the therapy and was pulled back down to an even worse period of depression. 

Who knows? Well, I hope to hear from you soon! If you don't have time to answer these questions right now, I understand. Talk to you later!


Weeks later, I wrote back and said ...

Hi Ron,

Well finally, my life is getting somewhat back to normal. I still have a lot to finish at the center, but we are functioning quite well as is.

As for trying to teach you the basics (and use it as an article), I am still open to doing it and am presently considering how to begin. More over, I'll continue to work on developing this, and you can pretty much count on me coming up with something good. I just need time.

As for your present questions, yes, I believe that exploring the past is infinite. Even so, if you loved ice cream, would getting infinite ice cream be such a bad thing <grin>!

Healing, (which is just another way to say, "experiencing emergences,") is a very wonderful way to live life. More over, far from being constantly painful, it feels constantly amazing and beautiful.

So what makes most attempts at healing so painful?

Well, imagine that you have just woken up and that you find yourself very, very hungry. And lost. In the midst of a strange woods. What would you do?

Now imagine you look down at your hands and notice, you have a piece of red and light blue paper in your hand.

When you read it, it says that there are fourteen food sources within ten miles.

Most people, if they were faced with this kind of dilemma, would simply start out on a search, being careful to mark where they had been so as not to make the same mistake twice. Even so, woods often look the same in many spots. Thus, inevitably, you would wander and become more and more hungry. And make many mistakes, despite your vows and efforts not to do this.

Say you were to now stumble onto a food source, in reality, just enough food to keep you from starving. Of course, you'd eat it. But then, after eating, you'd realize that you must again begin your search or face starvation once more. What would you do now?

Of course, you would begin your search again. But as you began, you would probably review the previous experience.

Unfortunately, since finding the food was an accident, what exactly would you have learned? And would your next search be any easier?

In truth, not really. Why? Because all you would have learned is that, if you search long and hard enough, that you may, (and this is a really big version of the word, "MAY") find something with which to relieve your hunger.



Feelings of trust and safety and certainty?


Sadly, this story pretty much describes the present state of therapies.

Alphabet therapies up the odds of "finding food" significantly because they add significantly to people's ability to remain conscious during the searches.

Even so, as they (and all other therapies) fail to account for the true nature of injury itself, they remain at best better mouse traps.

Understanding the nature of the "woods" is the only true way.

Fortunately, once you understand, healing becomes a heck of a beautiful and exciting way to live.

Infinitely so.

Not such a bad thing when you think about it.

Finally, with regard to "cognitive" therapy, have you ever tried to "cognitively" explain the feeling of "love." Or the beauty in Rumi's poetry. Or the way a new born baby's smile fills you up so completely?

Cognitive therapies, and their cousins, the behavioral therapies, are all based on the mistruth that "symptoms" are the wound.

In reality, symptoms are only the evidence of a wound and are never the wound itself. Thus, getting rid of the symptoms (and understanding "where these symptoms came from") never heals anything. They simply get rid of the evidence we are wounded, and in doing so, make us believe we healed something. Why? Because we feel better.

Thus, like what we might feel if we were to finally find a food source after wandering lost in a woods, in truth, what we found would in no way guarantee we would ever find food again.

So what is the true test of healing?

The only true test as to whether you have healed something or not is, are you permanently better? Not just different, but better? More over, does what is better feel permanently amazing? And does this "better" include seeing beauty in what had previously been either empty or painful or both?

Emergences are permanent. And permanently amazing.

Hope you're well and enjoying the journey.



P. S. As far as I know, there is no enlightenment which brings us normal folks to some final "happy place." While we are in bodies, that is. Of course, if you allow for the possibility of a life after we leave our bodies (and this world), then perhaps there is some place in which we are enlightened.

I personally do. Allow for the possibility, that is.

Then Ron wrote back and said ...

Hey Steven,

Wow, great letter! I really love it!

Did you know I did cognitive therapy for a while?  It did bring me to the point of feeling "enlightened." But then I also lost it when a specific wound came back and hurt me. 

So, emergence is PERMANENT?  Wow, now THAT is impressive. I am REALLY tired of trying to learn tricks and do things that will keep me from feeling like crap. I would love to just be able to emerge from all of this FOREVER. 

Is that what you mean?  It goes away FOREVER?  And you're right, I cannot explain that feeling I had of enlightenment or God or love when I did have it for a few brief months and random moments after that. All I know is it FELT right and it felt good and it felt calm, content and like love. And it was not my logic creating it. My logic was GONE! 

Well, I hope to hear from you soon! I always love to read what you have to say and look forward to learning from you and working with you.  Have fun opening your new center.  By the way, have you read any of this new research about the heart and how they have discovered that it puts out 5000 times more electromagnetic force than the brain AND that the heart actually seems to have it's OWN brain that controls the ACTUAL brain? That's some very cool stuff!  Anyway, have fun and talk to you later!



character type baby girl 2 social priorities 2,1,3,4